The art of the simultaneous orgasm

The simultaneous orgasm may seem elusive, but it does exist – and it’ll be easier to achieve with a little help from our tips. 

While it’s not easy, if you do manage it then the joint hormone release and feeling of togetherness is an incredible way to please your partner that can deepen your connection and make you feel closer.

Find out what works

So, where to start? Crucially, you need to make sure you’re both on the same page – if your partner is gagging for a quickie and you want to experiment with a slow-burner, it’s not going to work.

Next, you need to think about what works for each of you and how best to please your partner. Often, orgasming together doesn’t happen because many women take longer to become aroused than men, and women often require more than just penetration to reach climax.

If a woman usually only comes from oral sex or touching, many sexual positions won't give enough clitoral stimulation to recreate that feeling, so you need to purposely create contact when choosing a position (one such as girl on top will work perfectly). Rocking back and forth, rather than thrusting, will mean her clitoris will get plenty of stimulation, yet he will be less likely to orgasm too quickly than if there’s any deep thrusting.\

Try positions where the woman’s clitoris can be reached easily, and if oral sex is her thing, use extra lube to imitate the warmth and wetness of your mouth. A vibrator or intimate massager such as Durex Delight can also be a godsend if she struggles to orgasm during sex.

The right speed

As most women take longer to orgasm than men, plenty of foreplay is a great way to level the playing field and match levels of arousal.

Once you’re ready for sex, don’t be afraid to pause things for a while if one of you is getting too close to climaxing. Take a breather and enjoy kissing, touching and talking before resuming again. By changing what you’re doing, you’ll still please your partner and be arousing each other, but it’ll be controlled and when orgasm does happen, it will be more intense.

Try to synchronize your breathing as you make love and it will help the rhythm of your bodies fall into line. Also, remember pelvic floor exercises aren’t just the domain of pregnant women – men can practice them to help delay their orgasms, so they work something like a handbrake during sex.

Communication is key

Often it’s couples who have been together for a while who master the art of the simultaneous orgasm – usually because they understand each other’s bodies and know how to communicate well.

Try using a number system from one to ten to explain to your partner how close to orgasm you are. It’s a great way of ensuring that one of you doesn’t get carried away before the other, and with a bit of practice you won’t need to use numbers anymore, as you’ll learn to read your partner’s body language. A position where you can see each other’s faces will also help you communicate better.

Finally, remember that the key to reaching simultaneous orgasms is to relax. The more at ease you both feel, the more likely it is to happen.