Like a Virgin: Our Best First Time Sex Advice

1. Fight fears with open-mindedness.

A simple but really effective piece of sex advice for first time partners: don’t get too in your head. Almost everyone experiences first-time nerves, worrying about things like whether it will hurt, if you’ll be “good enough”, and how sex might affect your relationship.

Chances are, the other person is experiencing some of those exact same insecurities — and the best way to work through them is by keeping an open mind and enjoying the learning process with your partner.

2. Talk about it.

Being able to communicate, share your fears, and set boundaries (i.e. I'll have sex but only if you use contraception) will all help make sex better. By the way, vocalizing your wants, concerns, and curiosities isn’t just great 1st time sex advice — it’s something you should continue to practice with partners for the rest of your sexual life!

3. Warm up first.

Engaging in a little bit of foreplay is always a good idea. A quick round of oral sex or a nice rub down with your hands will prepare your bodies for sex, making it better for both of you. As she gets aroused, her vagina lubricates and her muscles relax, easing entry. If you’re a little worried about coming before the intercourse actually begins, you can always take a break for a few minutes in between. Remember: “don’t rush” is the golden rule when it comes to sex advice for first time encounters!

4. Stay safe from the get go.

There’s no “free pass” for first time sex; you’re just as likely to get pregnant or transmit an STI when losing your virginity. So, use this moment as a chance to form the healthy habit of wearing a condom (along with other forms of contraception) every time, so you can focus on enjoying your first experience safely.

Remember: both men and women share the responsibility of safe sex. If you're worried about using a condom, practice alone beforehand to help you get used to the sensation. Condoms come in different sizes and getting one that fits you best can make a big difference. If you’re not sure where to start, try out our Find Your Fit tool.

5. Find your rhythm — and position.

You may find it easiest if the woman starts on top, so she can take things at her own pace. Let her body open up without forcing things, and avoid fast, deep thrusting — at least to start with. Going slowly and gently is one of the best 1st time sex tips, and will help reduce the chances of discomfort or bleeding.

6. Grab some lube.

Lubricant can also help if you don’t feel wet enough — but there’s no need to rush into anything if your body is sending you signals to stop. It's OK to say no at any point, even once you've started having sex. So, if you realize you're not ready, don't be scared to tell your partner. Your first time is likely to be something you remember forever, so it’s always worth waiting for the right moment.

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Is there any other 1st time sex advice you’re looking to discover? Follow @DurexCanada on social for more helpful tips. And remember: mutual trust, affection and respect will help make losing your virginity as pleasurable as possible.