Sexual wellness
- 3 min read
The Meaning Of Outing And Why It’s Not Okay
Be in the know when it comes to outing. If you don’t already know, the term “outing” means to reveal someone else’s sexual orientation or gender identity to others without the individual’s consent or approval. Outing could be innocent, with harmless intent, and just assumed, or it can be done in an effort to ridicule the person in question. No matter how it’s intended, outing is still violating someone else’s privacy and can trigger consequences for the person who’s now been revealed.
Now that you know the meaning of outing, it’s important to locate why outing is harmful to somebody, how to go about dealing with outing (if it happens to you), and how to refrain from outing another person. It’s never okay to disclose someone’s sexuality or gender without authorization from the individual themself. Nothing feels better than having your own autonomy.
Unpacking The Effects Of Outing
Revealing intimate accounts of another person’s life and presumed wellbeing is dangerous. First of all, it’s participating and spreading gossip that directly harms someone’s identity. It’s also an act of discriminatory behaviour or bullying towards members of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. Meaning to out someone takes the individual’s power and control from them and places them in a compromising position where they need to defend themself. Outing is completely different from the concept of “coming out” as that’s defined by someone voluntarily speaking out about their sexual orientation or gender identity on their watch – without the decision already made for them.
Want a supportive place for advice when you’re ready to live your truth, out in the open? Read Tips For Coming Out To Friends And Family.
Why Outing Is Harmful To People
What may not be a big deal for you could very well end up damaging the quality of life for somebody else. That’s what outing has the potential to do. Outing has serious consequences; consequences in which you may not have even thought about. A few factors to consider when it comes to outing are:
- Mental health issues – due to prejudice and judgement from others, people who are outed can experience a great deal of anxiety and/or depression because of the internal pain they feel from having their gender/sexuality identity out there
- Homelessness – if the outed individual’s family or caregivers rejects their sexual orientation or gender identity, the person can wind up being kicked out of their house or disowned
- Drug abuse – substance use disorders can be a future factor for someone being outed, turning to drugs or alcohol for answers because their lives have just become more challenging to navigate
- Risk of violence – 2SLGBTQIA+ people who were not afforded the opportunity to come out as gay or reveal their gender on their own are at risk of physical injury, particularly if they don’t have a supportive external community or come from a unsupportive geographic location
- Suicide – outing can be heavily traumatic for certain individuals, so much so that it could result in suicide or suicide attempts/thoughts/tendencies after the fact due to the immense trauma
In order to avoid causing someone harm, choose to discover What Is Allyship? How To Be A Good LGBTQ+ Ally and show your support for people who may not always be treated kind.
How To Avoid Outing Someone
While you may not get it perfect, you should always be mindful of someone else’s confidentiality and disclosure by remembering that it's their personal information to tell or not to tell. It’s not you or another person’s given right to reveal it for them. Thinking about the person’s discomfort or potential repercussions before you speak on it is extremely principal. Keeping in mind that it’s not your identity to share, and whether that friend or family member chooses to share it for themselves, is also ideal. All this can skirt the issues surrounding the meaning of outing and let someone else have the ability to tell their story their way.
How To Deal With Being Outed
Say you’re the one who’s been put in the position where your gender or sexual identity has been disclosed for you, and you need some guidance on how to handle it. Powerlessness is a common feeling that can stem from this, but it’s important to also remember your rights:
- If you’re in an unsafe position at home or elsewhere, take what you need in the moment and near future and prepare for a better one while contacting people who you know will be supportive of you
- Connect with others through resources like The Trevor Project, school counsellors, or those you know in real life that will have your back so you feel less isolated and don’t have to take on everything yourself
- Understand your legal position as schools don’t have the right to share someone’s sexual or gender identity to other members of staff or students, and companies certainly don’t have the right to discriminate based on those very things
- Take back your power by reacting in an inspiring way that can help you grow from this situation – define outing to people and teach others about the red flags in outing
Out With Outing
After learning the meaning of outing, its harmful personal backlash, how to avoid it altogether, and what to do if you’re the target, it’s important to remember this act not only violates someone’s privacy but exposes them to unnecessary harassment. It’s crucial to recognize that coming out is a deeply personal journey that must be navigated at one’s own pace and comfort level. Respecting this process fosters a supportive and safe environment, essential for the wellbeing and dignity of 2SLGBTQIA+ people.
If you want to learn more about 2SLGBTQIA+ education and experiences, check out The Importance Of Queer Sex Ed For Everyone to help make this world a more just place.
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