Courtship vs. Dating: Breaking Down Traditional & Modern Views On Sex

Dating Fatigue? Discover Courting vs Dating and Find Your Style

Modern Canadian dating can feel exhausting—apps, DMs, ghosting—it’s a lot. If you’re tired of swiping and struggling to connect, you might wonder if there’s a better way.

Enter the idea of courting. But what is courting? It’s not just about chivalrous gestures or love letters—it’s intentional romance with marriage as the ultimate goal. Think of it as the original form of dating.

Join Durex^® Canada in exploring how historical customs blend with today’s dating trends, unpacking the dynamics of courting vs dating, and showing nothing feels better than finding someone who’s in sync with you.

Courting vs. Dating: Two Paths to Connection

When it comes to love, there’s a clear divide between old-school intention and modern spontaneity. Courting is all about structured romance with marriage in mind while dating leans into exploration and casual connections. Both approaches reflect different priorities and vibes—but which one aligns with what you’re looking for? Let’s break it down.

Courting: It’s Giving Intentional Vibes

Courting is like dating with a roadmap—it’s structured, family-approved, and all about marriage. Think of short romances, long engagements, and clear intentions. 

Courting prioritizes commitment and shared goals, with relationships focused on building deep emotional bonds rather than physical intimacy. 

Attitudes toward sex in courting often emphasize waiting until the relationship reaches a significant milestone, such as engagement or marriage. This approach highlights clarity and intentionality, central to courtship vs dating conversation.

Dating: Chill, Casual, and Swipeable

Dating, on the other hand, is more go-with-the-flow. Swiping on dating apps has gamified the process, turning romance into a left-and-right game. While fun, it often leans toward short-term connections.

In dating, attitudes toward sex are typically more flexible and embrace sex positivity, with many viewing it as a natural and enjoyable part of building a connection, regardless of long-term intentions. 

This perspective often emphasizes open communication, consent, and the idea that sexual exploration can be a healthy part of self-expression and relationships. 

For those leaning into fun and exploration, products like Durex^® Tingling Lubricant^* or Durex^® Passion Cherry Lubricant^* can add an extra spark to the experience. 

What Did it Mean to Court Someone in The Past?

Picture this: It’s the Victorian era, and dating apps are a distant dream. Potential partners were often met at church socials or introduced through friends. It wasn’t about casual vibes or seeing where things might go—it was a deliberate plan. Bedroom romps were frowned upon, and the focus was on emotional connection, shared values, and societal approval.

From matrimonial ads to bundling and charivaris, Canadian courtship traditions reveal how cultural expectations and community involvement deeply shaped attitudes towards partnership. 

Matrimonial Ads: The OG Dating Apps

Matrimonial advertisements were the 19th-century answer to finding love outside one’s immediate social circle—essentially, the original way to “slide into DMs.” These ads allowed working-class individuals to expand their options but carried a layer of social stigma. They challenged traditional norms, paving the way for today’s dating practices, offering an early example of the courting vs dating debate.

Bundling: Clothed Cuddling?

Bundling was a curious custom where couples shared a bed fully clothed, under parental supervision, to foster intimacy without crossing boundaries. It served as a way to test compatibility within strict societal guidelines. However, as ideas around courting evolved, bundling fell out of favour.

Charivaris: When Public Shame Policed Romantic Choices

Charivaris were public rituals designed to humiliate couples who defied social expectations, such as remarrying quickly or engaging in age-gap relationships. These noisy, mocking serenades were a community’s way of enforcing its norms. In examining courtship vs dating, such customs show how deeply social approval was intertwined with romantic relationships.

Tailoring Your Strategy: Courting vs. Dating

Whether you prefer the structure of courting or the spontaneity of dating, aligning your approach with your style can make your search for love more intentional and enjoyable. Understanding the differences between courting vs dating can help you navigate relationships in a way that feels authentic to you.

If You’re Interested in Courting

1. Meet Through Connections: Attend events where friends or family can introduce you to new people.
2. Join Community Groups: Look for social groups, hobby clubs, or faith-based gatherings to meet like-minded individuals.
3. Be Clear About Intentions: When you meet someone, openly discuss your interest in a long-term relationship.
4. Focus on Emotional Connection: Take time to understand their values and goals before getting physical.
5. Set Boundaries Early: Decide how long you want to be with a partner before having sex and communicate openly to ensure mutual respect and understanding.

If You’re Interested in Dating

1. Download a Dating App: Try apps like Bumble or Tinder to meet people quickly and easily.
2. Keep It Casual: Start with fun, low-pressure dates like coffee or a casual hangout.
3. Stay Flexible: Don’t overthink timelines—enjoy the process and see where things go.
4. Communicate Honestly: Let your matches know if you’re exploring or not ready for something serious. 
5. Prioritize Safe Sex: Be open about practicing safe sex and come prepared with trusted protection, like Durex^® Avanti Bare Ultra Thin Condoms^*, for a natural and comfortable experience when the time feels right.

Two Styles, One Goal: Making Connections That Matter

Courting and modern dating may seem like opposites, but they’re two sides of the same coin. Whether planning a future with someone or just trying to find your weekend plus-one, the goal remains: connection. 

By blending intentionality from the past with today’s freedom, you might just unlock the secret to dating success. Because nothing feels better than finding someone who gets you. Happy hunting!

*Ensure this product is right for you. Always read and follow the label before use.