Dating and Relationships
- 3 min read
A quick guide to setting limits in your sexual relationships - By Karine
How can you set limits without making things awkward?
First of all, you should NEVER be worried about creating an awkward situation when it comes to setting your limits for sex. Setting limits is 100% legitimate, normal and desirable.
1. Identify them
What are your limits? Do you know? Your limits may not be the same as someone else’s. Everyone has a different past and different preferences. What are you comfortable doing? What are you not comfortable doing? Remember that your limits can evolve with time, circumstances and the type of relationship you’re in.
2. Communicate your limits
We tend to think that communicating our limits means restricting the sexual desire someone has toward you. That it’s a turn-off. But that’s not the case! You can keep it simple and light if you want to, without making it a huge discussion, while being clear and confident.
However, if the other person doesn’t seem to understand and is trying to go beyond the limits you’ve stated clearly, or doesn’t take those limits seriously, you should get away from them, fast.
3. Be clear
Don’t beat around the bush to express what you want to say. Be clear. Sometimes our words and actions are interpreted differently by different people. Never assume that your partner understands your limits if you haven’t expressed them. Make sure to use precise language when you’re explaining the lines you don’t want crossed. That way, there won’t be any confusion.
And the same goes for you when someone tells you their limits. You need to listen and make sure you understand what they’re trying to tell you. If you feel that there’s room for interpretation, ask. Don’t take anything for granted if it feels unclear. When it comes to your own and other people’s limits, transparency is always the best policy.
4. Don’t ever feel guilty for setting limits
You should never feel guilty for wanting your wishes respected. That’s fundamental for a relationship. Your limits are legitimate, under any circumstance and with anyone.
